Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.

So, on National Cheese Lovers Day, let’s have your

Ode to a lump of fetid moo-juice


About Tim Panini

Landlord of the Flying Pig, Little Sniffy.


  1. Minnie Driver

    When Daisy the donkey did sneeze
    And lactate gushed forth ‘tween her knees
    She gave a big neigh
    Split the curd from the whey
    And made a delectable cheese

  2. Minnie Driver

    I like cheese with bread:
    Pizza, naan, or just on toast.
    Best on biscuits though. 🙂

  3. Minnie Driver

    Crumbly Cheshire;
    A ripe Gorgonzola;
    Or soft, squidgy Brie goes down per-

  4. Oh Cheese, how much I’ve loved you,
    Mature Cheddar, perhaps the best,
    The loss forever pains me,
    But give you up, I must.

    I’ve loved to hold a mighty chunk,
    And sink in with my teeth,
    Sliced red apple marries well,
    Held firmly underneath.

    You’ve melted well, on top of toast,
    With tomato, onion and basil,
    At times when comfort’s needed quick,
    A meal without the hassle. .

    Lasagne’s good and savoury scones,
    And mashed potato topping,
    All enhanced and flavoured well,
    By Cheddar from the shopping.

    But all must end, my faithful friend,
    You’ll pass my lips no more,
    Too little thought I’ve spared before,
    But now, I’m very sure.

    In honour and respect for cows,
    I’ve made a vegan pledge,
    A plant-based diet is for me,
    No meat, no milk, just veg!


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